Funeral

Every funeral (as every family) is different. The pastor must be flexible and accommodating above all. The pastor must be ready and willing to mold himself to the circumstances at hand as to provide the needed care to the families and friends that remain living.

Therefore, the funeral must be handled with care. The circumstances of the person being remember may look more like a celebration of a mature life well lived in Jesus. It may be a confusing time of suicide or the uttermost tragedy of a toddler’s accidental death. “Being personal and human is far more important than maintaining formality.” (Eclov)

The Preparations

1. The focus of the the funeral is on the family and their needs.
2. The officiant (usually a pastor) organizes the service (with the family) and is in charge of the speaking parts of the service.
3. The funeral director is usually a funeral home employee in charge of the funeral home’s duties. Get with this person about 3-4 days before the funeral to see if the family has made any requests that they forgot to tell you (the officiant) about.
◦ These include handling of the body, seating arrangements, attendee book, etc.
◦ They (or their appointee) instruct on how the body is to be viewed and things of this nature after the service.

Planning the Week or Days Before the Funeral

• Find out who is the lead person for the family.
• Ask the family member, that is charge, what specifics they are planning for. They also make have very specific ideas on how the service should look. Be flexible. NOTE: If they want you to handle it, suggest an order of service (below). Songs are not usually included in a service planned solely by the officiant.
• Slideshows or videos are often wanted.
• Many times the family desires one or two songs played or sang in the service.
• Often they want certain people to speak. 2-4 people is the usual. Caution should be given to the family if they plan to open the microphone to anyone. Planned comments by people would know ahead of time that they will be called on are usually better.
• If the person is a veteran, there may be a color-guard presentation at the end of the service.
• Arrange and plan the elements and make sure the family member in charge is good with the order.
• A service may be as short as 20 minutes in a funeral home for instance. Services may last up to an hour in a church (anything over an hour is considered too long by most people).

The Service (Suggested Order)

Opening Prayer (The Invocation)

◦ Acknowledge God’s love for people .
◦ Your prayer should include words of hope (in a believer’s service) and prayers of comfort for the family.
◦ Give thanks for good memories for a person who lived well.

Welcome

◦ Introduce yourself only if there are many people in the service who do not know you.
◦ Thank everyone for coming.

Song (solo; or congregational song)

Read a Scripture Passage (some examples below; there are many more)

      •   Lamentations 3:19-26, 31-33
      •    Psalm 23
      •    Isaiah 57:1-2
      •    John 11:25-26
      •    John 14:1-6
      •    2 Corinthians 5:1-2
      •    1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
      •    Revelation 1:17-18
      •    Revelation 21:1-4

Read or have someone read the obituary and eulogy

• Usually the obituary and eulogy are read together.
• The Obituary The obituary, a written brief summary of the person’s life is usually read early in the service. It usually has the time, date and place of death.). An obituary is a short biographical account of a person life. The facts so to speak.

• The eulogy written and read by the family and/or by the officiant. A eulogy are words showing respect, gratitude, and affection; a tribute to the person’s life.
Not all people will be remembered well. Never pretend that an abusive person was a saint at a funeral.

Song (solo; or congregational song)

Sermon

◦ The sermon should be what some would call a “sermonette” or devotional. Less is more; 12-20 minutes is the window.
◦ Make sure O man of God to share the gospel. Do not ask the family if it is okay. This is an opportunity to tell of Jesus’ death and resurrection. If they have asked a Christian officiant to conduct the service the service should be Christian in nature.

Prayer

◦ Ask God to help the people apply the Scripture that were read.
◦ Thank God for the hope we have in Jesus’ work.
◦ Ask for ongoing comfort for the family.

Closing Scripture Passage (The Benediction) (some examples below; there are many more)

      •   2 Corinthians 13:14
      •   Philippians 4:7
      •   Philippians 4:7
      •   1 Peter 5:10-11
      •   Isiah 43:2-3
      •   Isiah 61:1-3
      •   Hebrews 13:20-21

Instructions

◦ What needs to be said and who will say (officiant or funeral director) should be planned out before the service begins.

Postlude (the end actions)

◦ It is customary that the pastor leads the pallbearers to the funeral coach and later, from the funeral coach to the grave site before the grave site service.

Grave Side Service (Interment)

This is a very brief service usually given near the final place of burial of the body or remains. Sometimes it is included with the funeral service if the person is to be buried far away or they is inclement weather, etc.

The pastor stand behind the casket towards the head of the body facing the family.

For a Believer (suggestions for the service)

• Read a suggested Scripture passage from above.
• Song (optional; as the family)
• Committal Reading for a believer
• For a child (see note below)

Benediction (See examples above)

Notes:

Committal for a Child

Example 1
In infinite wisdom and love our Heavenly Father has received unto Himself the innocent spirit of this little child. We therefore tenderly commit the body to its resting place in the sure and certain hope of a glorious resurrection unto eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. (Committals)

Example 2
In that it has pleased our heavenly Father, who loaned these little ones to us for this short time, to take them back to Himself, we commit their bodies to the ground. Looking for that blessed hope ;when the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God; and the dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air; and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words. (Committals)

Good reference for grave site committals: https://bible.org/article/committals-grave-site.

^{Sources:

1. Lee Eclov. Pastor’s Service Manual. Minneapolis: NextStep Resources, 2013, 153-169.

2. Committals (at the Grave Site), Bible.org, https://bible.org/article/committals-grave-site.}